BBB Style Tips

Okay, I know I can never take the place of Style Man, but lately, as warm weather (tries to) return to the area, I’ve noted a few style faux pas on my rides that simply cannot go without comment:

  • If you’re too embarrassed to wear lycra shorts on a road bike, you should be even more embarrassed to wear them under baggy shorts with the bottoms exposed.
  • I’m sorry, but bright yellow jerseys just don’t look good on anyone not stepping up to the podium during July.  Bright yellow jerseys look even worse when you weigh at least 300 lbs.  Bright yellow jerseys look simply horrid when you weigh 300 lbs. and the jersey is two sizes too small!
  • Whenever I see someone riding without a helmet:
    • if they are riding a beater and wearing blue jeans, I simply chuckle at the amusing irony (you know, survival of the fittest and all).
    • if they are on a nice road bike and wearing team kit, I just want to roll my eyes and say “puh-leez”.

Finally, please realize that lycra shorts start wearing thin in the most unflattering of places – check them before you put them on, and if you can see through them, buy new ones you cheapskate!

Copyright © Ted C. MacRae 2009

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About Ted C. MacRae

Ted C. MacRae is a research entomologist by vocation and beetle taxonomist by avocation. Areas of expertise in the latter include worldwide jewel beetles (Buprestidae) and North American longhorned beetles (Cerambycidae). More recent work has focused on North American tiger beetles (Cicindelidae) and their distribution, ecology, and conservation.
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2 Responses to BBB Style Tips

  1. Curt says:

    How about “banana” yellow (my old Pearl Izumi jersey), or “high-visibility” yellow?

    I hope those are ok. I especially enjoy wearing them in Frontenac.

    • Sorry, Curt. Hi-Viz jerseys are the antithesis of style. Of course, you don’t have to care what others think – just don’t kid yourself that they won’t be thinking it.

      Personally, I never bought the hi-viz argument to begin with – as long as your not wearing a black jersey while riding in a thunderstorm in the middle of a moonless night, people riding bicycles are easy to see no matter what they’re wearing. Especially style mongers – those are some of the most visible outfits of all.

      For Frontenac, I would make it a point to wear your flashiest, raciest, most stylish kit – I’m talking red Assos, white Sidis, and garish specs. Think of the chaos we could create if we all descended on them to flaunt ourselves in such clothing.

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