There have been few updates regarding the shooting at the Pfizer campus in Chesterfield (for which I was interviewed). On Saturday it was reported that police found the gun in the building where the shooting occurred. Police still have not taken into custody any suspects.
I’ve gotta be honest here – there’s something fishy in Denmark about this whole incident. I suspect police were unsuccessful in catching the suspect as he fled the scene, not because he so skillfully eluded them but because he doesn’t exist! Here is my theory: the victim – a woman – brought a gun to work with her. While she was in the port-a-pottie (yes, the shooting occurred in a port-a-potty), she was handling the gun for some reason and it accidentally discharged – hitting her in the foot. Rather than take responsibility for the outcome of a sequence of incredibly stupid decisions, she concocted a story about a gunman that resulted in a campus-wide lockdown of ~1,000 employees and enlisted the resources of innumerable police officials, trained dogs, and helicopters for a phantom search. This seems a much more plausible scenario than what we currently have and explains…
- …why the gunman wasn’t caught despite an immediate and overwhelming police response. The campus is surrounded by several hundred acres of undeveloped woods and farmland – it seems hard to believe a person could have run through such an area quickly enough to escape detection.
- …why the woman was shot in the foot – an unlikely target for a gunman unless the woman actually struggled with the gunman for control of the gun, which seems even more absurd.
- …why no detailed description of the gunman was immediately available – hard to make one up on the fly!
- …why the gun was found at the scene. What gunman is going to shoot somebody and leave crucial evidence linking them to the crime at the scene while they themselves flee?
If I am wrong, then I will offer a public apology on this forum to the victim of the shooting. If I am right, however, you heard it here first. Stay tuned…