I was reading back through my ride diary from this past year (still off the bike, shoulder not healing fast enough, getting desperate for a cycling fix!) when I came across this amusing entry. I’ve quoted it verbatim (names blocked to protect the guilty). I’m wondering if anyone recognizes this ride, but then it might just sound like every other group ride anybody does anyway!
It rained during the day, and both girls had Girl Scouts during the evening so I decided to try this ride again. I hadn’t done it for a couple years – I didn’t like it then because it was such a weird group dynamic, with knuckleheads attacking at weird places. Well, not much has changed! It was a smallish group led by **, and a couple other guys I knew (## and ++) also showed up. The rest were nonracers and guys I didn’t know. It started out okay, with ** leading a firm but steady pace. When we hit Clayton this one guy in a tattered skinsuit jumps off ahead with ** and ++ in tow. They hammer pretty hard and create a gap, so I start pulling to close the gap. I close it back up, and when ** and ++ each pull off after their turns at the front Mr. Skinsuit Guy just sits up but stays on the front. I’m wondering what the hell he’s doing when ++ shoots ahead followed by **. I look at ##, and he’s got no idea what the hell people are trying to do either. This type of crap goes on for the next 20 miles – I’d get on front to steady the pace and then get attacked on the hills and have to chase, after which the attackers would just sit up. ++ was the worst! Guess I won’t be doing this ride anymore (unless I get desperate!).